Helping Families...to help their sons

Everyone loves a success story. It’s easy to admire the determination of Advent Home students who make significant changes in their lives, but what about their families?
Parents of AH students are often unsung heroes. The challenges of sending your child away are significant: financial pressures, family disapproval, and the feeling of failure. Dianne Christensen, mother of AH graduate Jonathan, calls it the ‘terrible parent syndrome’. “Sending Jon to Advent Home was the most loving, gut-wrenching thing we ever did as parents. It was a tremendous grief to us because as parents we think we’ll always meet the needs of our children, but in this case, we did not have what it took. The journey required ruthless, daring trust in God—that He was in control of our family and Jon’s life! We had to transfer day-to-day issues to the Advent Home staff and place our trust in them.” Advent Home takes that kind of trust seriously, recognizing that the entire family—not just the son—need our care and support, from the first tentative phone call to graduation and beyond.
One of the most important services Advent Home offers is communication. “Parents know they can call us any time, for any reason—information, encouragement, problem solving, or training on how to deal with their son and make adjustments in their own lives,” says Dr. Blondel Senior, Director.
This starts even before a student is enrolled. Each family undergoes an extensive evaluation by phone, including discussions on ways to locate funding. A sample solicitation packet for student sponsorship is sent to parents, with a letter they can personalize and send to churches or extended family.
Training and counseling are other primary services we offer. Every two months, parents join their sons on campus for Family Forum Weekend. In addition to networking with other parents who are going through similar struggles, families attend seminars and counseling sessions. The program is aimed at encouraging open, honest—and often difficult—communication.
Ted & Donnelle Summitt, adoptive parents of AH graduate Buddy, found these weekends crucial to their family’s growth. “We can now dialogue. We give Buddy his voice but not always his own way, and he accepts it and goes on. We finally feel a bonding and love in the home that was missing in the past.”
Our experience shows that students whose families fully participate in Advent Home’s Maturation Therapy® Program have a much greater chance of long-term success, and are better able to resist the temptations of relapsing into negative behaviors. Why? “Parents learn to be strong leaders and communicators, and to recognize the importance of the ‘small’ things like diet, family worship and entertainment choices,” states Dr. Senior.
For those who are experiencing problems with their ADHD son, George & Jocelyn Abernathy, parents of graduate Richard, recommend, “If you see a downward spiral, don’t wait until he’s gone too far before you get help. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure as a parent.”
In fact, parents who see the need for intervention, and choose to team up with Advent Home, are making an eternal investment in their son. We salute you!